Herzog Unlocks Cage: Crack Pipes at the Ready

  • Posted by
  • on May 28, 2009
  • Filed in: Film

I always have trouble sitting idly by as the masses ridicule Nicolas Cage. I think it’s the consistency at which he headlines the most godawful shit to hit the multiplexes that really gets people’s collective goat. If he made one clunker every couple years it would be harder to maintain such an active level of hatred for the man. But, this web unfortunately for him, he is a prolific garbage man.

All the same, when people go to town on the fella it still rings foul. He’s the same man who gave me Raising Arizona, Adaptation, Wild at Heart, Bringing out the Dead, Con Air and The Rock (irony is not being employed in the last two selections, just tender love for an oft-maligned genre).

A friend and I started assembling a theory a year or so back. It basically detailed Nicolas Cage as a man with a truly manic energy that, if channeled correctly, can be Nirvana at 24 frames-per-second. If you give the wrong director or project this energy then a void the color of every child’s nightmare opens up and the spirit of a theater full of people can be sucked to nothing and replaced with venom before the director’s credit appears on the screen.

So, when I heard Werner Herzog was directing Cage in a remake-but-not-remake-more-like-reboot-that-borrows-the-bad-lieutenant-brand-if-you-could-actually-say-bad-lieutenant-of-all-films-has-a-marketable-brand I was giddy. I had just forged deep into Herzog’s filmography in the past year and it became apparent that Herzog was THE master of harnessing madness.

After watching the just-released trailer it suggests, if nothing else, both men went bug-fuck crazy together and that sort of fraternal insanity is a guaranteed wallet-emptier for me.  Enjoy the trailer and wait till the appropriate moment to bust out your lucky crack pipe.

ICING ON CAKE TERRITORY: Val Kilmer, a man who deserves a similar-in-praise column, is also holding fort in this redemptive clusterfuck.

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