Really? Seriously? Ok… Hell YES!! MacGruber!?!

  • Posted by
  • on July 8, 2009
  • Filed in: Film


Oh, pregnancy if only every day could start with news as shockingly glorious as this. SNL’s resident bumbling MacGuyver wanna be, dermatologist MacGruber, this is coming to the big screen. Normally, any SNL related news pretty much gets mentally shredded, because for all I’m concerned SNL is now  doing just as much to sully the name of comedy as it once did to raise it to new heights, it used to be groundbreaking stuff. Now its a place where comedy goes to die. I remember a time when there used to be a skit or two, that I found to be “not that funny” now, I can go an entire season with out so much as a giggle. When the skit for MacGruber first hit, I was not that impressed, yet he kept coming back, and blowing up, over and over again, It took me a while to get appreciate it, and eventually it wormed its way into my “One of like 7 things SNL has done to make me laugh in the last decade” list. 

Now, even this wasn’t enough to have me sold on the movie, cause frankly SNL has also not been the once prolific film studio that it once either. I read along in the story, simply to pass the time and avoid further happenstances of actually working. I read that Kristen Wiig was gonna be in it. Sweet! I find her attractive in a very odd way. Ryan Phillippe was also in negotiations. Umm ok, whatever. Wait, what is this? Val Kilmer has expressed interest and is in talks as well? Ummmmm Yes Please. If this goes down, we are all in for a very serious treat. One thing that the world simply always has room for, is Val Kilmer busting his comedic chops. He doesn’t do it very often, but he has a genuine gift for comedic roles. Don’t get me wrong he is a talented actor, and I have a deeply disturbing man crush on him. But Real Genius? Top Secret? Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang?  Some seriously funny movies, that may not have been near as good with anyone else in his spot.  

My highest hopes for this, is that he plays the evil mastermind character in the movie, now the plot for the upcoming film is pretty much under wraps, so they don’t wanna let anything out. But dollars to donuts says that if Kilmer is interested, he’s looking at the villain lead.

Fans of comedy can only hope.

7:20 Tomorrow Night, I’m gonna get Hungover.

  • Posted by
  • on June 4, 2009
  • Filed in: Film

First off, prescription let me get this right off my chest, I happen to be slightly bitter that my little brother has gotten to see Away We Go already, no more than two minutes before I opened this site to sit down and write (Unfortunate Rhyme (which will someday be the lead character in a white rap pseudo biopic pot comedy that I have been kicking around in my head) and for that I am sorry), I saw a preview for that movie, and fell in love with it all over again, the preview crushes me, then I see that flat out amazing review, which I skimmed, cause I had some ideas of my own in my head, which at this point and that insanely structered “thesis” statement. Well let me just say, I can’t wait to sit down and fully read his review, almost as much as I can’t wait to rush out and see that movie at the earliest possible convenience (man I had a bastard of a time spelling that for some reason, even with spell checker, I just struggled, I need to sleep).

Right, the main event, we have all been so blessed over the last several years with a staggering array of R-Rated comedies, that have been hit out of the park, over and over again. This week, The Hangover, will make its run at the King of the adult comedy Castle, though, it’s going up against a Juggernaut (spelled that one perfectly first try, go figure): I Love You, Man. If you’ve seen it, you know, if not, go see it, then you’ll know, yes, it’s THAT good. 

Now, I thought of myself as someone who would have celebrated Todd Phillips’s entire career, turns out not so much, I’ve actually seen less than half of his movies, but I’m a fan of his work, that I’ve seen, Road Trip has it’s moments, but I remember the experience of going to see it the day it came out, I was was 20, it packed theater on a Friday night, with a good group of friends, us having poured vodka into one liters to sneak into the show. Starsky and Hutch, wasn’t a disaster, but it wasn’t Broken Lizard Dukes level of entertainment. Old school, was his crowning achievement to date as far as I’m concerned, that movie still makes me laugh out loud on a regular basis, where as Road Trip registers an occasional bourgeois-ish chuckle, like pfft, my taste is so much more refined than that, when in reality, Im sitting here enjoying the shit out of The Heartbreak Kid for like the third time, so I really have no rights, my taste is so all over the the maps, that Al Gore has to use a pneumatic platform to illustrate how odd they really are. Interesting piece of cinema history/trivia for you all, Old School was one of two movies, that have both Will Ferrel, and James ‘The Ragin’ Cajun’ Carville in it. True Story.  » Read Full Story

Terminator Salvation: A Cinematic Milestone

  • Posted by
  • on May 25, 2009
  • Filed in: Film

In my decades of cinematic adventures, practitioner on countless occasions, I’ve checked show times, and decided upon seeing a flick, and I hoped in the ride, and head down, watched said flick, and went on l-i-v-i-n. Today, I decided to see the new Terminator movie, on a whim, and like I had done countless times, hoped in the car, and head out for the local cinemaplex. Something happened with this movie, that has never happened in all my years of filmgoing. I couldn’t bring myself to see it, I turned around, came home, and logged into the internets. Not quite sure why I couldn’t see it, maybe it was the unimpressive previews, maybe it was the PG-13 rating. Maybe it was the fact that I literally just don’t care if I see it, and so a memorial day weekend shall pass with out me in a theater, which Im sure has happened before, but I can never remember turning around, after I had made my mind to see a movie. Peace Folks, enjoy your day.

My summer at the Cinema: Predisposition

  • Posted by
  • on May 7, 2009
  • Filed in: Film

So here’s the thing, cialis sale last weekend, two movies came out, pretty darned close on my estimate for X-men, though I was totally wrong on Ghost’s. I noticed something, having seen both of them last weekend, going into it, I thought I would probably like X-men, didn’t think it would be anything special though. I was right. Thought I would dig Ghost’s of Girlfriends Past, and I did. I’m not sure I know how to go to the movies and be taken back anymore, though I did think Observe and Report was a trainwreck, and for the most part not funny at all, didn’t see that one coming at all.

So this weekend. Star Trek is coming out, and I genuinely couldn’t care any less about this. Let’s see, from the creators of lost ? No thank you. Hmmm from the director of Mission Unwatchable 3. No thank you. From the producer of cloverfield ? What do I look like an idiot ? This movie can’t be good, and I will step on any trekkies toes who wants to rumble over it. What a mess. That being said. Its probably gonna be another 80 million dollar weekend starring Star Trek.

So Im sure Im not gonna like that one, and have nothing more to say on the matter, I do however wanna make sure to give credit where credit is due, and do my due diligence as a film goer to make sure everyone out there has seen, and fallen in love with, the preview for “Funny People” the new comedy epic from Judd Apatow, its about trying to live life to the fullest (Which is of course hard), and the “one that got away” (which is of course even harder), so press play, lean back, and dive into a comedic pool of bliss.

July 31st baby, Ill be there, then probably again on August 4th or so, just for ya know, the giggles.

The Summer Movie Feast Begins

  • Posted by
  • on April 30, 2009
  • Filed in: Film

This is always my favorite time of year, mycoplasmosis and not cause of the weather, no rx even though I’m from the Sunshine state I’m an Oregon purist, site I love the rain and the clouds and of course, the overcastyness. It’s cause tomorrow is the day the summer movie season kicks off. Which in years past, had me sitting in front of my computer typing up a 5000 word epic about what is in store for you, the filmgoers through out the summer. Now I dont have the patience to put up with myself for that long anymore, but I’m sure I will still end up crapping out 5000 words about it through out the summer time.

These are the flicks that I’m gonna go see, and millions and millions of Americans will go see, it’s just that time of year, never quite understood why a vastly summer obsessed culture wants to spend several hours indoors (it’s gotta be the AC baby), as opposed to outside frolicking in the happy funtime sunlight, but I’m not judging. That’s not my style, ok, that’s completely off base.

Tomorrow, Friday May 1 (Seriously ? May, holy hell)

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Now it’s no secret of mine that I have a devout man-crush on Ryan Reynolds (I know he is not playing Wolverine, he is playing Deadpool, who is cooler than Wolverine anyways), and that as a steak loving American male, frankly I should be getting all excited for the summers first helping of special effects, stabbings with super strong claws, swords, guns, and one would think that I would be stoked and primed to kick the summer movie season off in the right way possible, hell even my little sister is going to see this at midnight. Me, I have little plans to see it opening weekend, I may, I may not, depends on how early it’s playing on saturday morning, and if I drank too much scotch the night before.

Now what really gets my blood pumping, and makes me wanna rush to the local theaters…..

The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I have issues, Im not afraid to admit it, I’ve gotta figure out a way to go see this with out feeling like a lonely tool. Cause it’s gonna be seriously great. Like I said, issues.

Wolverine $90-115 million opening weekend.
Girlfriends $45-55 million opening weekend.

Preceded only by Reputation

  • Posted by
  • on April 29, 2009
  • Filed in: Film

Many of you may know “of” me, read but you may not know me, opisthorchiasis this my friends and future followers is about to change. I’m the eldest, recipe thus wisest, and clearly best looking of the triumvirate phenomenon known as “The Whiteman Brothers.” I’ve been blogging on the interwebs for quite some time. Today I got an email sent by the digital mastermind who runs this site, asking if my brothers and I would do what we could to carry out the film portion of Truckerspeed. Frankly, I need need a hobby. So I jumped at the chance to begin a new blogging adventure, and I know that I have to stick around and keep my little brothers in check, so I logged on, and Im getting a brief little intro to me, and what I plan on doing for this site’s Film section. 

1. I will do my best to make you laugh. 
2. Weekly Preview of the whats hitting at your local Cinemaplexes.
2a. Weekly preview of movies that I’ve added to my Collection (Which is vast)
3. A completely random column Entitled  “What’s Pissing me off about Hollywood Now”
4. Much Much more, that even I don’t know about as of yet. 
5. News about movies that have not come out yet (No, I do not have a time machine, I’m working on it though)
6. I’m thirsty.

Well that sure wasn’t much of an intro about me and my cinematic insanity, now was it ? But it’s what your gonna get for now. Oh and Im a real badass, seriously, a badass who digs chick flicks on a level that I probably shouldn’t. I promise I’ll be back soon.